"Why are you listening to the drunk guy?"

 I climbed a Koppi and drank so much I became one of "Those People" and it was terrifying, exhilarating, mystifying, and absolutely amazing and I got to do it with some of my favourite people in the whole wide world...this is the story...

I left my delectably delightful dogs (all the while they watched me with big, strange, scared eyes that screamed "mommy please dont leave us"), my pink haven of flushing toilets and toilet paper, and the luxury of cleanliness on a beautiful Saturday morning heading to who knows where, to who knows what, to masses of alcohol (that Chris and I managed to get through on the first day), to do unspeakable things...except in a blog...and on Facebook...and to anyone I might meet...ok, so I am anything but discreet but let's not share that with anyone else shall we?

With sleep in my eyes and pillow (still) in hand we met Kat and Mike in Brits to embark on the first of (what would later become) many comedy of errors. After polite introductions for Chris and much cuddling (between Mike and Chris), Mike finally found his voice to very meekly point out, whilst Kat was bragging about their over cautious packing that included freshly baked bran muffins, that they had, in fact, forgotten their bedding at home. A quick (30 minute, R300) shop at the local Mr. Price Home had us back on the road with duvets in tow.

I spent the next couple of hours merrily pestering Chris with wonderful renditions of the classic's including "are we there yet", "how much further", "I am hungry", and my all-time favourite "Mommy I need to pee-pee". Once that got boring, Kat (who loves me unconditionally no matter what I do - it is her nuturing "I bake bran muffins" nature) got to enjoy them all over again...via sms...

On arrival I found myself chuffed as a lion in lamb chops to have my armband secured and the most awesomest camping site ever in the whole history of long drops and thorn bushes. Whilst the others (rather irritated for some reason I couldn't fathom) set about constructing tents and no-the-pole-goes-through-this-hole-ing, I snapped up my self-establishing-two-man'er and cracked a beer with Chris...possibly a bad idea in hindsight, but it seemed appropriate - especially with the other two watching me with menace in their eyes and "I am gonna kill that whiney brat with a beer" feelings in their hearts...what fun :-)

From there things get a little blurry, but I do vaguely remember Mrs. I-am-so-super-organised-and-wonderfully-domesticated bran muffin baker having forgotten the essential vegetarian substitutes at home - never fear when Nicole (the unorganised, go-where-the-wind-blows, find-out-when-we-get-there) is near because I brought enough for all us protein deprived individuals, a whole bunch of too much alcohol, fabulous bands, bumping into crazy people, much koppi crawling, a pinch of falling down, loads of screaming (at everyone including each other), one particularly hair raising walk home (complete with wind up torches and some not so lady-like behaviour...on Mike's part of course), and a crying girl in a thorn tree ('cause partridges and pears are only for Christmas time).

Crying girl: "Jy-huuuuun, Jy-huuuuun, pee-pee"

Kat: "Fuck off and walk the other way"

bwahahahahahahaahahhahhah - too funny!!

So to sum up, apart from some drunken-disorderly people, a throw-up or two, a pair of very nice beasts, a couple in a 69 position, a sadly lost girl, lots of fighting, and very bad toilet manners the weekend was absolutely extrodinary...and that was just us...

http://www.mio.co.za/article/oppikoppi-2010-sexy-crooked-teeth-2010-08-11

HOT STUFF!!!

Oh my Great Flambeed banana balls of fire! Could I be any Luckier? Well possibly with a huge helping of oxtail and the ability to actually eat meat, but if my life continues to be this perfect I may never have another delicious bacon craving again...ok, that's never going to happen, but what the sausage - let's just pretend. Alas this particular blog update may have to come with a warning: not for those prone to gag reflexes associated with all things lovey-dovey (or something of the sort). Ok, now that all those underloved audience members have been PG'd - let us indulge in the blissful sweetness that is my life...

First off - please don't get me wrong - I do realise that all relationships have their fair amount of downs, and I am realistic enough to comprehend that ultimately Chris and I are just another couple discovering, learning, and experiencing (although it kinda feels like a heavenly cloud of soft marshmallowy goodness right now) - but having gone through more bastards than a fat kid does candy on Halloween, I am fairly positive that this is my first REAL relationship with all the up's and down's that that entails. So having said that and having (probably not) silenced the bastards among you that are shaking their heads with that "oh how naive" little smirk on their faces I am ecstatic to announce that I now have a live in boyfriend (the most amazingly gorgeous GRRRRRR boyfriend in the world I might add) and cannot wait to get drunk on strawberry flavoured champagne in celebration!


And the masters seem to approve:

Footnote: Ok, so apart from the occasional gooey shmoltz that wasn't half as smoozy as I though it would be *high five's self* but I am going to leave my introduction in anyway...just 'cause I like it.

http://johannesburg.gumtree.co.za/c-Flat-House-Real-Estate-flatshare-house-share-HOT-STUFF-W0QQAdIdZ224666164

My cherry on top!

Home alone with my boys - scrumptious moments stuffed with love, sprinkled with happiness, and drizzled in sparkles. You amazing creatures are the icing on my proverbial cupcakes and I would be lost without you.

(Cuddles and Kisses for Phillip)

This particular morning Chris and myself were, as usual, licked awake by Phillip whilst his brother - Tyson - entrenched (and I don't use that word lightly...in fact there is nothing light about my *deceptively* tiny Tyboy - he is a heffalump) himself under the covers. After getting the ice-cream treatment, Chris used his awe inspiring brain power wisely by grabbing the camera to capture some of our beautifully slobbery moments with the children.

 (Tyson in his favorite place)

("What? I's is juss holding her's down so's she stops wriggling")

Great Rose Petals of Fire

Today, despite a rather lousy hangover that has me feeling like a twice burned spinach soufflé with a side order of headache, I have nothing but thanks to whatever lucky maraschino cherry has found me in the blissful position I am in. In what has been a candyfloss -filled roller coaster ride of crayfish, oysters, and a splash of bubbly, my life has become a half FULL bottle of sparkling wine with chocolate covered strawberries. With so much to update you on I really don’t know where to start but, much like the amazing Twilight Saga that has me salivating almost as much as a ‘Master chef goes large’ episode, I suppose the beginning is as good a place as any. Maybe grab some popcorn – this might take an entertaining while!

Having had my heart ripped out, tenderised, salted, and then microwaved to within an inch of incineration, I found myself very very lost and very very lonely. Without even my trusty appetite to keep me company and fill my long hours with tasty morsels, I finally found sanctuary (and bacon) in the form of a 3 week road trip of self discovery, friendship, and Love. I had no idea the morning I left for Port Elizabeth to join a certain gorgeous boy the extent to which this trip would impact my life, but after numerous treacherous (and almost certainly fatal) incidents including a death defying hike through the Transkei, a terrifyingly hairy caterpillar, some deceptively innocent crayfish wrapped in bacon, and almost dying from laughter at every turn, I have come away stronger, happier, and hungrier than ever before. I feel truly touched (not in an embarrassing ice-cream-child-nervous-twitch kind of way) and profoundly moved by what I experienced and am constantly amazed at this life I live. And not only have I found myself, my appetite, and the secret to a great cheese fondue, I have also found Love, trust, and a person whose idiosyncrasies complement my own – Thank you Chris Hinks for letting me breathe.

So, having got you to this point and skipping over some very important Knysna Oysters (another story in its own right) I can now finally tell you why I am officially the luckiest girl alive. After a long hard day Facebooking, Failbooking, and shuffling papers around my desk in a fairly veined and definitely unconvincing attempt to look busy, I finally made it to the refuge of my Husky dawg run house and an amazing mans arms. With the stress and trauma of the day melting away already, I made my way to the bathroom to discover a candlelit bubble bath complete with rose petals and pink sparkling wine. With my body literally tingling in anticipation I slipped into the warm water and spent the next hour in a happy-alcohol-candlelight daze that was almost too good to tear myself away from – but I was extremely glad when I did. Once out of the bath all vanilla scented and squeaky clean, I went through to the kitchen to find yet another candle filled setting, a plate of smoked salmon covered avo, more pink bubbly, and an irresistibly tantalizing man. Gleefully fed and merrily content I went to sleep with the same smile on my face that I have had for the past two and a half months – to those of you that it has started to irritate – you may want to avoid me...forever it would seem...I think this might just stay.

And he is cooking again tonight!

Is that something shiny in your pocket or....

Apologies go out to my creativity, my laptops keyboard, and all the amazing food I have made/consumed/ordered/looked at/discussed/and dreamed of - you all deserve better of me and I am a complete waste of digestive juices and brain waves for not devoting the kilojoules I have ingested to better use. Alas I have left my blog unattended and no amount of chocolate mousse can atone. Whilst I in no way plan to make excuses, I do feel I should justify my case by the fact that I got distracted by shiny cupcake heart decorations...well that and a couple of guns in my face. Alas, even I have realised not even a GREAT prawn curry or plate of sushi can prevent real life from happening or burglars from buglaring. However, through the trauma and stress I have been quietly consoled by some tasty delights, a boyfriend of tiramisu (which, lets face it, is so much sweeter than gold), and a hefty helping of giggles and fun times ala best friends. Thanks all for the love, support, and yumminess that you bring into my life.

This evening promises to be quite a devilishly decadent affair as my Batman is away on work and I will have everything including the Kitchen sink to myself. Bring on a mammoth size portion of something cheesy, a side helping of "Desperate Housewives", and lots and lots of puppy cuddles. Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode staring Nicole's lack of will power and a healthy dollop of extreme indulgence. 

"What's up Doc?"

So we all know that carrots are good for our eye's, they are fairly nutritious, and that they were Bugs Bunnies favorite secret power helping him defeat the evil lord DOC (I may have a serious addiction to all things superhero at the moment thanks to my very own special Batman), but last night I found out that they can also be deliciously good for the soul. I have long believed that food is the way to my heart and enforce that belief onto anyone within a cabbage throwing radius of myself and a curry take-away restaurant. Thus, whenever someone is down, angry, hurt, upset, happy, passing matric, failing exams, or blissfully in love I...take them out for a meal...well I used to...before I discovered these astounding little treasures called *quiet whisper* recipes. So there I was with a loving boyfriend on his way over to worship and adore me and a very sad friend in need and my reaction to both was the same - FOOD. After a treacherous adventure through the inter-webs - that held a number of perilous dangers including viruses and Viagra adverts - I finally laid my hands on my prize - a Carrot and Basil Pesto Lasagna recipe. In a frenzy of happy pot clanging, finger grating, and milk burning I spent an hour whipping up the most tantalizingly tasty creation for soothing the soul and impressing my lover. The result was, well, miraculous - in one sitting I was able to appease my meat starved taste buds, wriggle my way further into Gary's favor, and heal a broken heart - okay, that may be a little too bold a claim (even for the worlds tastiest lasagna) but that wounded heart certainly left with a band aid and a smile. In retrospect, I may be viewing all of this through carrot tinted glasses as I am fairly sure the night wasn't perfect, but I do know that after a long St Patrick's day comedy of errors and failed attempts at finding a pub, Gary and I both had the same thought - to go back to the safety of my little pink cottage and indulge in just a tad more of my (and Knorr's) delectable delight - and it was just as good cold.

Starting a blog baby, starting a blog

Okay, so deep breath, count to ten, rub my lucky cupcake - and here we go! I know that everyone that is anyone with a computer and too much time on their hands has already been blogging for millennia and I am, like, so last season, but I figure - what the sausage, I may as well have my say as well and let the world know what I think. Alas, being far too fixated on my delicious love life, my yummy dogs, and all things cupcakes, I find myself between a stale bread loaf and a hard place because what I think is, quite frankly, not a lot. Sooooooo, what to do...what to do...what...ooooo a cookie! Lacking any aspirations as far as political journalism and hard-hitting news bulletins are concerned and not having any real skills or talents that readers might find useful - what could I possibly have that would make my blog interesting enough to read? Love, sparkles, and cupcakes - that's what. No, I am not going to bore you with streams of once upon a times that most of you will regurgitate faster than a cockroach-surprise steak and kidney pie but I will give you a piece of MY pie - with all the trimmings of a pescetarian diet and a whole lot of cupcakes.